its been, a long while

how time flies,
its been almost a month
since i last updated
guess i've really been caught up
a little too much ?
even i'm not sure myself

so much has happened through the month
prominantly, sports day
what can i say, was tired but loved it
you happy, i happy, we all happy :)
i dont exactly want to recount
the past month or so
must say that it has been tough
having such stirrings in my heart
being listless, restless & emotionless
it just didnt feel all the great
guess my blog's becoming stagnant, again
haha but i dont think i'll be able to
update all that much anymore

anyhow, i've learned quite a bit though
learning to stare fear in the eye,
overcoming my fears, its good
dont want to talk about all that

service today was great
God was still moving, it was sweet :)
but i realised much more about things
that were happening & going on
i realised that, i love my cell
& i love every single one of them
because they're my sisters in Christ
and they're friends
things happened,
prayed with geraldine & the three of them
i thank God for all He has done
in their lives, in mine & in the cell

i've been procrastinating, a lot
concerning friendships, relationships
all sorts of things
i dont want to list them out
maybe its time i get down to business
saying this & that, yet nothing
(and i mean nothing) gets done

abby, i've been missing out on you
i dont know how you've been
i dont know what has been going on in
your life
i dont know all that because i havent
been taking initiatives to talk to you
to let you know i'm still here
& that i still care
all these may sound unfamiliar
because we're so far apart
but i know you're happy
you've got people helping you
through the tough times but
all i want you to know's that
nat still cares
i'll talk to you really soon

trili, i'm sorry i havent replied
your email
snail mail eh ?
haha hope you're doing okay
you're coming home, i'm waiting
will catch you online sometime okay

nicol, dont be discouraged
God looks at the heart
doesnt matter if it felt messed up
because God didnt think that way

geraldine, everything's alright
God's right there, listening
He wants you to listen too
you're safe & secured in His arms
silly girl, dont be afraid
there's no need to be afraid
keep praying, keep your eyes
on Jesus & hang in there okay ?
Psalms 56:3-4 "When I am afraid,
I will trust in you. In God,
whose word I praise, in God
I trust; I will not be afraid."
Psalms 118:6 "The Lord is with me;
I will not be afraid."

xueting, i know we didnt get to
talk much today
but like i told you,
you'll be in my heart
lets keep praying okay ?
remember what we talked about
that night online
crushing the devil under our feet
we're more than conquerors
in Jesus Christ
Psalms 73:25-26 "Whom have I in
heaven but you? And earth has nothing
I desire besides you. My flesh and my
heart may fail, but God is the strength
of my heart and my portion forever."

xuanyi, thank you for the cd
thank you for remembering
and i want you to know that
we're going to move,
slowly but surely
keep your focus on Jesus
even in the midst of the
tough & tiring trainings
all the way girl, do it for Jesus
Psalms 62:1-2 "My soul finds rest
in God alone; my salvation comes
from him. He alone is my rock and
my salvation; he is my fortress,
I will never be shaken."

not only them, so many others
i've yet to talk to
so many whom i've drifted from
it scared me but its up to me,
to choose to do smth about it

it has been raining
it was raining cats & dogs earlier
i was influenced into thinking that
lightning was God taking a picture
of us from heaven
but i was reminded by the scary & loud
loud thunder that it also represents,
God's wrath
i want to be a God-fearing man
human that is, mm
but i love the rain
not so much of the thunder & lighting
i've been staring out my window
ever since it started raining

a child-like faith

i cant understand
am i supposed to ignore
& tell myself that i've got to let go
and to move on
no one knows what i'm talking about
haha but its okay
just random thoughts
am i supposed to put myself down,
go into self-doubt
& pity myself when i'm in a
pathetic state or smth
i guess not, i'd be stupid then
its funny sometimes
when i look back upon my life
i dont want to walk on in my life,
knowing that i didnt try hard enough
even if i failed in things that i do,
i'd know i tried
rather than not trying at all
i want everyday to count
& i figured that if for one day,
things were pointless, the day
itself was pointless,
i'd feel hurt
because i wasted a day

yet knowing that God was the day

Matthew 17:20 "If you have faith
as small as a mustard seed, you
can say to this mountain,
'Move from here to there' and
it will move. Nothing will be
impossible for you."

friends, a big part of our lives
yet we dont realise how much they mean,
the tendency to take them for granted,
choosing not to do anything when you know
that you're drifting
& there goes the friendship
its not worth it
i just didnt feel that any of that
was worth it
because thats not the way things are
supposed to be
life wouldnt be complete
i wouldnt feel complete either
because that smth would be missing

Psalms 34:18 "The Lord is close to
the brokenhearted and saves those
who are crushed in spirit."